this is funny 
DOCTORS have always used a tribal vocabulary to communicate between
themselves, but now their secret lingo is been enriched by the
electronic media and urban slang.
Paul Keeley, a consultant in the department of palliative medicine
at Glasgow Royal Infirmary in Scotland wrote to the weekly British
Medical Journal a sample of new words that British doctors use
among themselves.
They include:
Disco biscuits: The clubbers' drug ecstasy. As in:
"The man in cubicle three looks like he's taken one too many disco
biscuits.''
Hasselhoff: Term for any patient who shows up in
the emergency room with an injury for which there is a bizarre
explanation. Source: Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff, who hit his
head on a chandelier while shaving. The broken glass severed four
tendons and and an artery in his right arm.
Agnostication: A substitute for prognostication.
Term used to the describe the usually vain attempt to answer the
question: "How long have I got, doc?''
Blamestorming: Apportioning of blame after the
wrong leg or kidney is removed or some other particularly egregious
foul-up happens.
404 moment: The point in a doctor's ward round
when medical records cannot be located. Comes from internet error
message, "404 - document not found.''
Testiculation: Description of a gesture typically
used by hospital consultant "when holding forth on subject on which
he or she has little knowledge". Gesture is of an upturned hand
with outstretched fingers pointed upwards, clutching an invisible
pair of testicles.
Other slang used by doctors, according to past letters to the BMJ,
include UBI (for "Unexplained Beer Injury''), PAFO ("Pissed And
Fell Over'') and Code Brown, or a faecal incontinence
emergency.
CTD means "Circling The Drain'', GPO signifies "Good for Parts
Only'' and "Rule of Five'' means that if more than five of the
patient's orifices are obscured by tubing, he has no chance.
A patient who is "giving the O-sign'' is very sick, lying with his
mouth open. This is followed by the "Q-sign'' - when the tongue
hangs out of the mouth - when the patient becomes terminal.
As for genetic quirks or inbreeding, FLK means "Funny Looking Kid''
and NFN signifies "Normal For Norfolk,'' a rural English
county.
General practitioners may use LOBNH ("Lights On But Nobody Home'')
or the impressively bogus Oligoneuronal to mean someone who is
thick.
But they also have a somewhat poetic option: "Pumpkin positive''
refers to the idea that a person's brain is so tiny that a penlight
shone into their mouth will make their empty head gleam like a
Halloween pumpkin.
(source: News.com.au)
